Safety Planning with IPV Clients: A Framework for Pre-Licensed Therapists

Safety planning is not a form you fill out. It is not a checklist you hand to a client. It is not something you do once and consider complete.

Safety planning is an ongoing clinical process — a collaborative conversation between you and your client about how to reduce risk, increase safety, and build toward a life that is not organized around surviving an abusive relationship.

For pre-licensed MFTs, safety planning with IPV clients is one of the most important clinical skills to develop — and one of the areas where supervision is most essential. This post offers a framework for thinking about safety planning clearly, with specific attention to the needs of LGBTQ+ clients.

The most common mistake in safety planning is moving too fast.

When a clinician hears that a client is in an abusive relationship, the impulse is often to help them leave — to provide resources, to encourage action, to move toward safety as quickly as possible. This impulse comes from a good place. But it often does not serve the client.

Leaving an abusive relationship is dangerous. The period immediately after leaving is statistically the most dangerous time for IPV survivors — the risk of lethal violence increases significantly when a survivor attempts to leave. Leaving also involves enormous practical, financial, emotional, and relational complexity. And for LGBTQ+ clients, leaving may mean losing community, housing, and support systems in ways that create new risks.

Safety planning that starts with "you need to leave" is not safety planning. It is advice-giving that does not account for the client's actual situation.

The foundation of effective safety planning is meeting the client where they are. This means:

• Understanding what the client's goals are — not what you think their goals should be
• Understanding the specific risks they face, including risks that are specific to their identity and situation
• Understanding what resources and support they have access to
• Understanding what barriers exist to safety — practical, financial, relational, and identity-based
• Working collaboratively to identify steps that are actually feasible given all of the above

Safety planning is a conversation, not a protocol. But there are elements that should be part of every safety planning process with IPV clients.

Assessing current danger. Before anything else, you need to understand the current level of danger. This includes:

• The frequency and severity of the abuse
• Whether weapons are present in the home
• Whether the abuser has made threats to kill the client or themselves
• Whether the abuse has been escalating
• Whether the client has tried to leave before and what happened

Several validated tools exist for lethality assessment in IPV situations — the Danger Assessment (DA) developed by Jacquelyn Campbell is widely used and has been validated across populations. Familiarize yourself with these tools and use them in consultation with your supervisor.

Understanding the client's situation. Safety planning needs to be grounded in the specifics of the client's life:

• Do they have children? What are the custody and safety implications?
• Do they have financial independence? Access to money, documents, transportation?
• Do they have a support network — people they can call, places they can go?
• What is their housing situation? Are they dependent on the abuser for housing?
• What is their immigration status? Are there immigration-related risks?
• What is their relationship to the community? Are there community-based risks or resources?

Identifying safety strategies. Safety planning involves identifying concrete strategies for different scenarios:

• If the abuse escalates in the moment: What can the client do to de-escalate, create distance, or get out?
• If the client decides to leave: What does a safe departure look like? What needs to be in place first?
• If the client is not ready to leave: What can reduce risk in the current situation?
• In an emergency: Who can the client call? Where can they go?

Building toward longer-term safety. Safety planning is not only about immediate crisis. It is also about building the conditions that make longer-term safety possible — financial independence, social support, housing options, legal protections.

Safety planning with LGBTQ+ IPV survivors requires attention to factors that are not present — or not present in the same way — in heterosexual relationships.

Affirming resources. Know which local and national resources serve LGBTQ+ survivors. The National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233) has LGBTQ+-specific resources and trained advocates. The National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs (NCAVP) specifically serves LGBTQ+ survivors. Many cities have LGBTQ+-specific domestic violence organizations. Know what is available in your area.

Shelter access. Many domestic violence shelters are not equipped to serve LGBTQ+ clients — particularly trans women, who have historically been turned away from women's shelters. When discussing shelter options with clients, be honest about what is and is not available, and help them think through alternatives.

Community considerations. In tight-knit LGBTQ+ communities, the abuser and survivor may share social networks, community spaces, and mutual friends. Safety planning needs to account for this — helping the client think through which community members are safe, which are not, and how to maintain connections that support their safety without exposing them to the abuser.

Outing risks. For clients who are not fully out, safety planning needs to address the risk of being outed — either by the abuser as a form of control, or as a consequence of seeking help from services that are not affirming. Help clients think through who they can tell, who they cannot, and what the risks are in each case.

Trans-specific considerations. For trans clients, safety planning may need to address:

• Access to gender-affirming care if they leave the relationship (particularly if the abuser has been providing financial support for care)
• The safety of shelter and housing options for trans people
• Legal name and gender marker considerations in protective orders and other legal documents
• The specific ways that transphobia may complicate their options and their credibility with systems

Immigration considerations. For LGBTQ+ immigrants, safety planning may need to address immigration status, the risk of deportation, access to legal resources, and the specific protections available to immigrant survivors of IPV (including the Violence Against Women Act, which applies regardless of gender or sexual orientation).

Safety planning with IPV clients should always be brought to supervision — not just when you are uncertain about mandatory reporting, but as a regular part of your clinical work.

Your supervisor can help you:

• Assess the level of danger accurately
• Think through the specific barriers and resources in the client's situation
• Identify LGBTQ+-affirming resources in your area
• Navigate the clinical and ethical complexity of working with clients who are not ready to leave
• Manage your own countertransference — the frustration, the fear, the helplessness that this work can generate

Safety planning is not something you should be doing alone. It is complex, high-stakes clinical work that requires consultation, support, and ongoing reflection.

One of the hardest aspects of IPV work is sitting with a client who is not ready to leave — who may not be safe, who may be in significant danger, but who is not at a point where leaving is possible or desired.

This is not a clinical failure. It is a clinical reality.

Research on the process of leaving abusive relationships consistently shows that survivors leave and return multiple times before leaving permanently — and that each attempt to leave is part of a process that eventually leads to safety. Your job is not to accelerate that process by pushing the client toward a decision they are not ready to make. Your job is to stay present, to keep the door open, to help the client build the conditions that will eventually make leaving possible.

This requires a particular kind of clinical patience — the ability to hold hope for the client without imposing your timeline on them. It also requires good supervision, because the countertransference in this work can be intense.

Document your safety planning conversations carefully. Your documentation should include:

• Your assessment of the current level of danger
• The specific safety strategies discussed
• The client's response and level of engagement
• Any resources provided
• Plans for follow-up
• Consultation with your supervisor

Good documentation protects you and demonstrates that you took the client's safety seriously.

Mx. Love C. Dialogos is an LMFT and AAMFT Approved Supervisor offering queer-affirming clinical supervision via telehealth. Licensed in Wisconsin, Illinois, New York, Texas, Florida, Arizona, Ohio, Michigan, Indiana, New Mexico, Hawaii, Idaho, and Alaska. Schedule a free consultation to discuss your supervision needs.

• IPV in Queer Relationships: What Clinicians Need to Know
• When Clients Disclose Sexual Abuse: A Guide for Pre-Licensed MFTs
• Mandatory Reporting for MFT Associates: What You Need to Know
• Managing Countertransference When Working with Trauma Survivors
• Trauma-Informed Supervision: Supporting Pre-Licensed MFTs Working with Abuse Survivors
• How to Choose a Queer-Affirming MFT Supervisor